An Answer for SOYA from Australia?
Mar 26, 2010 by Girl | Posted in Marriage & Divorce
Hun, first of all I am really sorry all this happened to you, but trust me, you’re just another woman who got trapped in this situation. Let me guess? You’re a foreigner and your husband was the one who brought you over here, right?! If this is so, then you’re same like me – I have been living in the same nightmare for 4 years now and it also took me a lot of time and counseling to figure out what is going on.
First of all let me tell you – the fact that you shared too much with your husband gives him a great chance to figure out how to hurt you, control you and manipulate you so that he was only the one happy in this marriage!
I am the same as you are – I was abandoned by my fiancée who run away to Canada and left me alone. And I was also very hurt at that time and just wanted to get married and have babies and loving husband. I was so STUPID that I even agreed to leave my family, leave a great opportunity to become a college professor and came here…….for nothing. Now I am stuck working in a daycare changing diapers and with an absolutely horrible husband who wishes me nothing but death and misery and bankruptcy.
I always wondered why do American men marry foreign women. And I was stupid enough to just think because they loved them. Trust me, there are enough women in America and if men can’t handle American women it only means that a strong woman who loves herself and demands a man to respect her is too much for them to handle, that’s why they marry foreigners like us! We come here with nothing! And we are here alone! And it makes us vulnerable to these men who feel like they can do with us whatever they want!
So, in your case your husband probably married you because he wanted to be with that woman. But that woman is married and she doesn’t want to divorce her husband (possibly for financial reasons), so he married you to “cover up” everybody’s’ eyes!
Because now everyone will know he is married and as a result, noone will think he would be cheating on you!
Trust me, he doesn’t love you, he never had! Your cultural differences are obvious and your husband did a very good research to find out all about that because now he knows you can only get married once and he is using it against you! He knows you will be with him no matter what and this is the reason why he is doing whatever he wants and he doesn’t feel like he needs to apologize because he has no respect for you – he treats you like you are his property, his toy, his dog or smth. And I am not trying to hurt you here, but only to share my own experience! I came here 4 years ago, when we were dating, my husband was the sweetest man I knew. It all changed though right after we got married! He told me that same night that I owe him money for bringing me over here! And that I have to pay it back! Ever since my husband treated me like his property – he verbally and emotionally abuses me and my pets. He has had a job under my name now for 3 years! He secretly opened a credit card under my name and after maxing it out – just dumped it on me and now I ended up paying for it all. The most horrible thing is that his parents know everything he is doing to me and they support him! He treats me like I am a servant in the house and have to do all the cleaning and housework in general. He only spends all holidays with his family – his parents. He openly tells me that I am not his family and never will be! If I get sick, he never even asks me if I’m feeling any better.
He is also gone every single night and usually comes back drunk! I find receipts of him buying VIAGRA, but who is he using it for if he doesn’t even sleep with me?! And who does he goes to every night?
So, this is why men like these marry foreigners – to have a woman whom they trained to be their slaves whith no feelings with no self esteem.
My only advice to you – RUN! As far as you can from your husband, kick him out from your life! He never loved you and never will! Man like him deserve to go to hell and remain there forever. They have ho heart, no feelings. All they love is money and ……..control, which women like us let them have.
By telling yourself that you are going to be alone for the rest of your life you are only hurting yourself! And trust me, once you get out of this abusive marriage you have to rebuild your self esteem and self respect and then you will meet a man who will love and respect you as well.
And if you leave him, you will actually be a WINNER and he will be the one who lost!
No matter what you do, you will not make him feel like a looser or make him regret his actions because he knows he is unfair to you and this is something he planned. Don’t u understand that some of the foreign countries are famous for their women’s obedience! And this is what some man are looking for – an obedient wife who will let him live his life the way he wants and do or say nothing about it. He has no respect for you, you are not credible in his eyes. That’s why if you leave
Holy Cow you've written a novel here
NAT | Mar 26, 2010
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